If
you’re Jewish like me and—and not very religious—your experience of Christmas
is probably very different from the traditional family holiday featured in a
Norman Rockwell painting. Even if you
light Hanukkah candles every night and wrap eight gifts for each of your
children, something still feels off. I
just can’t relate to the television images of stampeding shoppers on Black Friday or
the constant barrage of ads for Cyber Monday. Sometimes I feel a bit like an
alien from a distant planet, observing the oddly frenetic (and commercial)
family rituals that earthlings call Christmas. The parent creatures run around
buying gifts for their offspring, trying to keep them convinced, for as long as
possible, that it’s really a roly-poly man dressed in red with a white beard
who’s bringing them the ipads and Xboxes on their wish lists from the North
Pole. (When the Santa story stops flying, there’s always the tooth fairy.)
Of course, if you’ve entered the
empty nest stage like Henry and me, maybe your family won’t be together for the
winter holidays at all. Last year—for the first time ever— Henry and I didn’t
see either of our young adult twins for Hanukkah, Christmas, their birthday
(12/26), or New Year’s Eve. Sarah had insisted
on spending her birthday and the holidays with her boyfriend, while Max joined
another family on their ski vacation. Henry and I had been happy for our kids,
but we also couldn’t help feeling sad and, yes, EMPTY. (See “Endings and
Beginnings,” 12/27/13).
Happily
(I hope!), we’re spending Christmas together as a family again this year—and
getting in a couple of extra days with our kids too. While I imagine most
American families are home having a Kodak moment, unwrapping Christmas gifts,
sipping egg nog, devouring turkey and Buche de Noel, my family will go to the
gym early (before it closes), take in a movie, and then go out for Chinese
dinner. Sound crazy? Not according to Chinese restaurants in
Manhattan—the only ones open on Christmas Day.
Most Jewish people in Manhattan, who haven’t decamped for Mexico and the
Caribbean, have rushed to make reservations at the popular Chinese restaurants.
Our favorite, Pig Heaven, was booked solid for Christmas when I called for a
reservation at the beginning of the week. I was welcome to come before 3 PM or
after 9PM. (No, thank you). Luckily, Our Place, (another Chinese
restaurant in our neighborhood) was willing to squeeze us in at 8:30 PM. (No, I’m NOT kidding.) As for the movies, this year we’ve carefully
chosen a movie that’s NOT opening on Christmas day. We learned our lesson from being shut out of newly
released movies on Christmases past. (I’m purposely not mentioning the movie
we’re seeing, because I don’t want anyone out there to buy the last tickets on
Fandango).
This year we’ll also be celebrating
Max and Sarah’s 24th birthday on December, 26th AND on
the 27th. On the 26th,
we’ll shop for birthday gifts. What
could be better than a sale right AFTER Christmas? On the 27th, we’ll go out for dinner
to celebrate as a party of eight, including Sarah’s boyfriend, Max’s
girlfriend, Grandma and my best friend/adopted sister. I’ve even ordered a
giant chocolate ganache birthday cake, so my kids can blow out the candles
together, like they used to do when they were little. Will three consecutive
days of togetherness prove too much for my family? Maybe I’ve started to forget
that families often drive each other crazy during the holiday season. Most
families are NOT like the folks in It’s a
Wonderful Life. Certainly, Henry is
nothing like Jimmy Stewart, and I’m no Donna Reed. Stay tuned....
As for
other families with unusual plans, my friend Helena is hosting “Chrismakah”
dinner. Yes, that means the décor will include a Christmas tree trimmed with
ornaments, a menorah, and candy canes. Also on the table, will be tiny Buddhas
to be handed out as party favors at the end. Even the nearby ficus tree is decked out in
Christmas finery. In the all-inclusive
spirit of Chrismakah, Helena’s guest
list includes: an old flame, her mom, her daughter, her daughter’s boyfriend, and
her daughter’s oldest BFF, and Naomi, who came to visit Helena’s half empty
nest on July 4th weekend and has been there off and on ever since, (and
helping Helena with a recent onslaught of crises). Oh, did I mention
that Helena’s daughter’s singing teacher is also coming to Chrismakah? And last, but not least is Timothy, who
recently moved here from California. Six weeks ago Helena found Timothy’s
wallet in a taxi, and returned it with her business card; since then, they’ve
become friends. Helena thinks Timothy and the singing teacher may have a lot in
common.
Jamie—Helena’s cat—has been
scratched off the guest list. (No laughing matter.) Jamie bit Helena’s mother
on Thanksgiving; the bite got infected, and her mom ended up on antibiotics for
two weeks. Now Mom isn’t taking any more chances. Sequestered in another room,
Jamie will be exiled from the holiday feast. And speaking of food, did I forget
to say Helena is ordering in Chinese?
Labels: Black Friday, Chinese food, Christmas, Cyber Monday, Dnna Reed, Hanukah, holidays, ipads, Jewish, Jimmy Stewary, Norman Rockwell, Santa Claus, twins. birthdays, xbox