Aside
from plastic surgery and Botox, how can we grow old gracefully if we’re lucky
enough to stay healthy and remain on the planet? For me and many other baby boomers in our 50s
and 60s, this is a burning question.
First we raised our children and watched them depart the nest one by one
(although these days some boomerang back home).
Then somewhere along the way, we noticed how old our own parents had
become, or we lost a parent to the inevitable tides of time. In between care-taking our surviving elderly
parents and launching our young adults, it eventually becomes impossible NOT to
see our own wrinkles and loose skin, to feel the wear and tear on our muscles
and joints of half a century of life. If
your mom or dad had arthritis, a bad back, or hip replacement, you don’t need
to wonder why you’re starting to feel pain in those same body parts.
The
secret to staying young—it seems to me—is to be a rock star (or to act like
one). Sometimes I think that bands like today's Rolling Stones are an optical illusion. I first saw Mick Jagger when I was 18 years old; I saw him perform again in my early 50s, awed by how amazing and energetic he was on stage. It's hard to believe that Jagger is 71 (!!) and still doing concerts in full strut and cardio mode. Of course when you look at Keith Richards (also 71), I marvel that he's still
alive— let alone strumming up on stage--because he looks like a centenarian. And
what about Paul McCartney, 69, who’s on his third, very youthful wife? He’s
still crooning away, playing piano and performing at concerts. Ditto for Rod Stewart 70, Elton John, 68, and Billy Joel, 66. Yes, all of these musicians LOOK older (and maybe some have lost a beat), but they are still bright stars in the baby boomer firmament. Maybe the trick really is to "keep on trucking" a swell as you can for as long as you can,(while avoiding mirrors).
,
But
sometimes we have to stop moving—at
least for a few days—long enough to repair or replace a worn out part. For example, my husband, Henry had
arthroscopic hip surgery on Thursday and was back in his law office, meeting
with clients on Monday, crutches and all.
He wouldn’t take a single pain-killer because he didn’t want to fog his
brain. His only concession to surgery was insisting that the client travel to
his office (instead of visa versa). Doctor’s orders were for my husband to
“keep his leg elevated and rest.”
Always restless and on the
move, Henry often reminds me of a race car at the Indy 500, stopping only
long enough to replace his blown tire,
before revving up to 100 miles per hour again.
Henry’s supposed to stay on crutches for a month, but I’ve already
caught him hopping a short distance or impatiently grabbing just one crutch,
despite the doctor’s orders.
To be fair, Henry did allow me to
gently put a pair of socks onto his feet just 72 hours after surgery. The act made think of how many years had
passed (could it really be 20?) since I pulled socks onto my twins’ tiny,
kicking feet. In some ways, reminders
like that make me feel older than looking in a mirror.
Even for rock stars, there comes a
time to slow down. On July 5th, 2015, the Grateful Dead performed
their last show ever, in Chicago. According to the Rolling Stone, the Dead ended a 50 year career with a
“magnificent and moving final show.” Phil Lesh, 75, The Grateful Dead’s de
facto leader since Jerry Garcia’s death, came back on stage at the end of the
concert to thank the audience for listening and to encourage organ donation.
(Lesh received a liver donation in 1978.) Amid hugs, bows and tears, 70,000
Dead heads departed Soldiers’ Field in an uplifted state, awash in the music
that defined the Utopian dream of a past era: the hippie vision of peace, love,
and the idealism of our long lost youth.
“The feeling we have here today—take it home
with you and do some good with it,” Drummer Michael Hart, 71, advised the
crowd.
That’s
great advice for empty nesters, who may be starting to feel old, or miss the
good old days (?) I’d like to add a suggestion of my own: turn a page in the
book of YOUR life, and write the next chapter. If that means replacing a hip or
a knee, getting a few Botox injections,
or just slowing down long enough to
notice the shape of clouds and the color of
our sky, take a break. But be
sure to keep moving and carry the past forward—or to quote the Grateful Dead,
keep seeking “all that’s still unsung.”
Labels: aging, baby boomers, Billy Joel, Botox, empty nest, Grateful Dead, hip surgery, Indy 500, Jerry Garcia, Mick Jagger, parents, Paul McCartney, Phil Lesh, plastic surgery, rock stars, Rolling Stones, twins, youth
The
secret to staying young—it seems to me—is to be a rock star (or to act like
one). Sometimes I think that bands like today's Rolling Stones are an optical illusion. I first saw Mick Jagger when I was 18 years old; I saw him perform again in my early 50s, awed by how amazing and energetic he was on stage. It's hard to believe that Jagger is 71 (!!) and still doing concerts in full strut and cardio mode. Of course when you look at Keith Richards (also 71), I marvel that he's still alive— let alone strumming up on stage--because he looks like a centenarian. And
what about Paul McCartney, 69, who’s on his third, very youthful wife? He’s
still crooning away, playing piano and performing at concerts. Ditto for Rod Stewart 70, Elton John, 68, and Billy Joel, 66. Yes, all of these musicians LOOK older (and maybe some have lost a beat), but they are still bright stars in the baby boomer firmament. Maybe the trick really is to "keep on trucking" a swell as you can for as long as you can,(while avoiding mirrors).
To be fair, Henry did allow me to
gently put a pair of socks onto his feet just 72 hours after surgery. The act made think of how many years had
passed (could it really be 20?) since I pulled socks onto my twins’ tiny,
kicking feet. In some ways, reminders
like that make me feel older than looking in a mirror.
